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Are you like princess Fiona?

by | Jul 5, 2016

Pretty and thin princess one day and “ugly and fat” ogress another?

I am looking for you!

I remember watching animated Disney film Shrek years ago when it came to the cinemas for the first time! I’ve seen the trailer and was so looking forward to watching it!It was very different, really funny and it touched my heart and soul very deeply. I was watching the film with my boyfriend at that time and was fascinated, I was impressed and emotionally disturbed! I couldn’t have believed how I related to a character of princess Fiona!

I remember going through very strong emotions during the movie. Fiona, plagued by a curse that transforms her into an ogress each night, locked in the castle waiting to be rescued by a handsome prince! During the day, she was a beautiful princess and during the night, an ugly ogress ashamed of her secret curse.

At that time, I had an eating disorder! I wanted desperately to be skinny. I was on strict diets, but I always broke them, failed and ended up binge eating afterward. I was either losing weight, felt beautiful and slimming, wearing nice clothes or putting on weight, felt fat and ugly, hiding in baggy clothes ! I felt like I am plagued by some curse, very ashamed of it. It was my secret and there I was watching Fiona living my curse! Beautiful and slim princess turning into a “fat and ugly” ogress at night. I felt completely the same. I felt like I am living a double life. The same as Fiona! I felt like a beautiful princess and a fat ugly ogress! I could not relate to any other archetypal fairy tales princesses so much as to Fiona! This resemblance and parallel got my full attention during the movie and I was completely hooked!

And I remember, being so curious and wanting to desperately know how the story will end. I was looking for the answers for my eating disorder curse. It felt like Universe, or my soul is speaking to me through this story!

And the story ended very differently than I expected! Not a handsome prince came to rescue Fiona, but it was Shrek, the ogre. And I was so shocked when instead of having her curse broken to be a full-time beautiful princess, she became full-time ogress! Not only that, but she was happy being that!

I remember being so angry, confused and disappointed. I wanted her to be a princess and meet her handsome prince to live happily ever after. Instead, she became ogress, married ogre and lived happily ever after.

I was in emotional turmoil, as the story was not just a funny fairy tale film for me, but it was a story of my life. I was looking for a solution to my own curse!

I am a person I learn from everything and everyone. I hear messages from Universe, or my Soul everywhere, through movies, people, books, conversations, situation and I am always ready to listen and learn.

I was going through the very mixed emotions!

On one hand, I felt very angry, disappointed and protesting about the end. It was for me like Universe was telling me, give up your desire to be slim and pretty. Be fat, eat whatever you want, find a man that is not your dream man and be happy living like that! And I was shouting no! No, I will never be happy like that! I can’t be happy being fat and live an average life, not having fulfilled my dreams and desires. I would be dead inside. I would be depressed. I would betray myself, I would die. I can’t do it. Life would be so depressing and have not much point to living with my dreams never coming true. I was scared to death! What if I will never recover from eating disorder and will never be slim?I did not want to think that as it was too painful to even think that. I was there and I had my hope! I believed one day I will recover and be happy! My hope and belief became even stronger and I was even more committed to myself to make this dream come true.

On the other hand, I felt huge relief! It was like finally I can be fat and eat whatever I want and don’t need to diet anymore! No more pressure from men, from society, from myself to be skinny, beautiful and hot! No more deprivation, no more starving, no more anxiety. I can be me whatever it is! I can be me being fat and love myself and be happy. It felt like a beautiful soothing music for me deeply healing my heart and soul! 

I felt relief and I was crying as it was a message from my soul to understand that I need to love myself no matter what and no matter if someone will love me or not. And I knew I did not love myself being fat and having the shameful eating disorder and weight secret.

I was thinking a lot about this experience long after watching the movie. It left a big impact on my soul. Shrek is a very special fairy tale for me. And it made me laugh out loud so much too!

It was a nice stepping stone in self-love and self-acceptance. Something shifted in me and I felt lighter emotionally and spiritually! Also, I knew that it is not possible to un-want what we want. It is not possible to give up on our desire without going to depression and being shut down emotionally and dead inside. I knew I will never do and will never give up!

I felt like a catharsis after experiencing this movie and its parallel with my life! And I believed I will recover one day.

And I did recover. However, it was no soon after. It was after 12 years!

But here I am now, the princess, slim, beautiful and completely free from eating disorders, eating anything and everything I want to. Loving and admiring deeply the ogress I once was, being proud of the girl I once was and inspired by her courage to go through life, to believe and become that woman I am now!

I want to inspire you to love the princess inside of you and also the “ogress” inside of you!

You will recover and be slim for life! And one day, you will feel so much love, appreciation, and admiration for the girl you once were! And you would not want to change a thing as you would not be that amazing woman-princess you are now, without being that amazing “ogress” first!

And if you are not that full-time “princess” yet, love and cherish the princes and “ogress” in you. It’s who you are now. It’s YOU! Own it and honor it!

I want to tell you that eating disorders are not such a big deal as they say. You can easily and quickly recover for life. Just get back to a Natural Way Of Eating and your Natural State Of Being!

I can teach you how!

And if you choose to listen to me, I would be more than happy to help you on your journey to eating freedom and slim body for life!

Stay tuned, subscribe, get my free resources and read my book, where I teach how you can “Lose Weight AND Eating Disorder Forever!”

Big love to all my soul sisters out here!

 


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Elena Ochiday is Eating Freedom Teacher and Coach, helping women to achieve “Eating Freedom and A Slim Body For Life!™ She is the founder of Eating and Body Freedom website. She helps people to get back to 1. “Natural Way Of Eating and 2. Their Natural State Of Being”™ in her signature book, video training and workshop called “Lose Weight AND Your Eating Disorder Forever!™” After struggling with an eating disorder and weight problems for 12 years, now completely eating disorder free and a slim for life, teaches others how they can be the person who can eat anything and stay slim, too!

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